Art student Clary Fray’s life is turned upside down when she discovers that she is a Shadowhunter and part of a hidden world on the brink of war.
This is the best thing I’ve seen on the internet this week. I’m still watching it, but this post will updated later with highlights. A must watch for any fan, they are adorable.
The CW has a long time honoured tradition of having the best TV any young woman who enjoys trash and heart could want. The lineup this year has been mostly locked up into its new role as the official home of DCTV but this is the CW and it is a requirement to us all to have the trashy cheese that we all want. Let’s break down the new series on the schedule for the CW this fall.
Powerless was unfairly canceled earlier this year by NBC with three unaired episodes. The late great Adam West (Batman) guested on one of these unaired episodes and in honour of his memory, DCTV has released the episode for a limited time.
The new episode only further highlights how the rocky Powerless was getting its footing with time but alas, it was not meant to be. I love the surprise plot twist with Jackie’s character, it would have been an awesome plot for Season Two. Also the meta commentary on President Luthor and his vacationing at “Mar-a-Luther”.
Check out this very special episode below and let us know what you think in the comments.
Previously | Iris gonna die. Caitlin goes full Killer Frost. The 2017 Team Flash enlist Tracy Brand to help them create the tech that will eventually trap Savitar. Oh yes and after 20 episodes of dragging this shit out: Future Barry Allen is Savitar.
THE FUTURE IS EMO | Future Savitar is actually one of the time remnants that Barry creates in his repeated quests to save Iris. As 2024 Barry specifically notes “he kills MOST of the time remnants”. This one survived, and was shunned for being an aberration. He was Barry Duplicate not Barry Actual and this repeated rejection and loss drove Barry Duplicate to seek out becoming a God to feel no pain. 2017 Barry tries to take on Savi-Barry but his Savitar suit is pretty badass and attacks 2017 Barry.
CONTINUITY | This is used to justify that Easter Egg from Legends of Tomorrow where Barry can’t be trusted. The theory that we’re meant to believe is that Duplicate Barry upon becoming Savitar went back into time to kill Iris, this setting the stage in motion for 2017 Barry’s descent into darkness and confirming the time remnants that 2024 Barry made that would lead to his eventual creation. It’s some sort of closed loop ish but once Savitar is formed he doesn’t care about the rules of time travel and somehow the time wraiths don’t get him. Thus “I created myself” and “I am the future Flash” now add up. There is one other thing he needs but he keeps that to himself. Once fully formed as Savitar, Savi time travels all over time creating his myth of him being the strongest speedster, which adds in to how Jay Garrick refers to him as the first speedster ever created. Barry Duplicate was basically his own hype man.
FORGET ME NOT | Savitar has 2017-Barry’s memories because he lived them. Even 2017-Barry can acknowledge he sees the coagulation of pain and loss that created Savitar: the losses of Nora, Henry and Iris is too much to bear. Added to the rejection of the team to Duplicate Barry and it all creates Savitar. Cisco comes up with the idea to stop Barry’s short term memory in order to kill Savitar’s preview pass to Barry’s life. Of course it doesn’t work but the big payoff of this the revelation that Carlos Valdes can act off of anyone and here proves to have lovely chemistry with Tom Felton. Barry’s brain is fried and he can’t remember much of anything. No Iris, No Henry, No the Flash. He doesn’t even remember his own name. In a nice Easter egg “Bart Allen” gets a little name check.
WESTALLEN REVISITED | This new memory scrubbed Barry doesn’t have the weight of the multiple losses and pain on his soul. It’s Iris that leads Barry through the darkness, reminding him of all of their trials throughout the year. The sweetest part of this episode is seeing this Barry fall in love with Iris once more. Iris tells him of the moment when their love story began: as children, when Iris comforted Barry after the loss of his mother. One thing that stands out about this episode is how much Iris wants to protect this new light Barry who wants to help her plan their wedding and go through their high school yearbooks and doesn’t have years of guilt on him. It’s never mentioned anywhere that if Barry stays this way, Iris doesn’t die. Is that because Iris is truly selfless or the writers just dgaf?
CAUSE AND EFFECT | Barry’s memory scrub has consequences: Barry doesn’t know he has powers and Savitar can’t remember who he is either. The B story here involves newly minted Team Flash member Cecile who needs Barry’s testimony as the CSI expert to testify against budget Heatwave “Heatmonger”. Barry flops his testimony in a hilarious scene orchestrated with some special glasses designed by Cisco and Julian feeding Barry the answers. How no one in the court room doesn’t notice this transparent tomfoolery is beyond me. Anyway, Heatmonger is released. Memory scrubbed Barry eventually taps into his powers right before kissing Iris for the first time. This Barry is thrilled and irreverent at having powers but is thoroughly unfit to be a hero. Heatmonger eventually decides to tear shit up though and Kid Flash can’t save the day because with the memory scrub, he doesn’t get his powers!
Killer Frost shows up to help the team restore Barry and thus Savitar, but refuses to say what she gets out of his revival. Cisco tries to thaw Killer Frost’s heart with memories of Ronnie, Hartley and their early Star Labs days. They eventually create a device to help Barry’s memories. Julian’s admission of love is thrown back to his face but in private, Killer Frost’s eyes flicker briefly to Caitlin.
FILLER | The HR and Tracy storyline is complete filler. Basically they like their other and like coffee. They build the speed trap by the end of the episode. The end.
I REMEMBER | Barry’s memory returns with your standard Iris West pep talk. Barry’s memories trigger Kid Flash’s powers being restored and Savitar revived. Wally and Barry save innocents from Heatmonger. Barry admits to Iris that he had the perfect pain free life in Flashpoint but the cost of losing Iris, Cisco, Caitlin and everyone else was too great. Those hardships helped shape him. The episode closes with Team Flash and Tracy going over the Speed Bazooka and the gigantic amount of energy it needs to power up (more energy than the sun!) to trap Savitar and then we cut to King Shark swimming away in Argus.
Stray Observations | How do they really afford to live in that bomb ass apartment?
“Hartley was such a dick, you reminded me of him when you joined the team”
The current Team Flash had more than enough power in Cisco to battle the metas while memory scrubbed Barry trained to be The Flash
I would have liked it if memory scrubbed Barry could have understood the gravity of restoring his memories would lead to the revival of Savitar and Iris’ death. I wanted to see him confront the reality that they could live this life and be happy.
FFFASHION | I’m living for this pink dress that Iris is wearing in this episode. Cisco’s hair is completely beautiful. Gawd he’s gorgeous.
Next: Captain Cold returns somehow to help Barry release King Shark
The Flash 3×22 “Infantino Street” – With only 24 hours left until Savitar murders Iris (Candice Patton), Barry (Grant Gustin) struggles to save the woman he loves and makes the choice to use any means necessary to do so. Realizing he has one option left to save her, The Flash turns to Captain Cold (Wentworth Miller) for help.
Though I haven’t been writing about Riverdale, I’ve been watching all the episodes and though I did post on Facebook that I was on another hiatus till May, I’m gonna sneak in 15 minutes to discuss last night’s Riverdale.
AIN’T NO OTHER MAN BUT YOU| With Jason still being dead, the future of the Blossoms’ maple syrup empire lies in jeopardy. The board of the company comes to town to suss out how fast they can oust the Blossoms from their company. I’m assuming with all the red hair, that the other board members are extended family members. To boost the image of stability, the Blossoms court Archie (KJ Apa) with the promise of getting him into a prestigious music school to help them make their appearances to the board stronger and more stable. Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) is next in line as the heir apparent but after her breakdown at Jason’s funeral, no one has any confidence in her, thus enrolling Archie into the fold somehow adds credibility to Cheryl because she isn’t nuts! she has a quarterback escort! Of course nothing comes free with the Blossoms, and that one appearance at a company event leads to family dinners, expensive gifts and Cheryl taunting Valerie (of Josie and the Pussycats, guest star Hayley Law) that she will take Archie from her.
It’s all very creepy and weird that they use Archie as a Dead Jason substitute with Mother Blossom commenting that in the right light, Archie likes just like Dead Jason. Archie eventually uses his gigaho position to negotiate for Cliff Blossom to help out his dad (Fred Andrews played by Beverly Hills 90210 veteran Luke Perry #dylanandbrendaforever) and the struggling Andrews Construction. It all comes to a head when Cheryl eventually moves in on Archie and kisses him, which Archie takes a good 5 seconds to eventually reject. Archie decides he doesn’t want to be the Blossom’s quasi Dead Jason gigaho substitute and bounces, even though Cheryl tells him if he leaves, he leaves his opportunity to get into the music school behind too.
NO SCRUBS | Of course by the time Archie finally rebukes the Blossoms, Valerie is OVER IT. She is over him treating her like shit and doesn’t take his disrespect. Archieval is over. It’s not like ever knew ye anyway, as most of this relationship always happened offscreen. I will say though, I like that Valerie didn’t take that shit and stood up for her standards and self worth. Too often girls just accept the shit they are dealt and never really walk away. You go pussycat!
MADCHEN AMICK 4 LIFE| From episode two to present, Mama Coop (Madchen Amick) is by far one of the show’s MVPs. Arrestingly beautiful and blissfully nuts, Amick brings multiple layers to Alice Cooper, shades of crazy, fierce protectiveness of her daughters, independent and steadfast. Alice is another strong female character in Riverdale, shown in the previous episode where she separates from her husband after he scheduled an abortion appointment for their daughter and never told her; and in this one where she throws a brick at him when he refuses to help her bring their daughter back home. Last week’s episode where she breaks down over her elder daughter Polly (Tiera Skovbye) choosing to live with the insaneo creepo Blossoms was really well done. Amick is a veteran and knows exactly how to bring it.
This week, Alice is focused on writing an expose on the Blossoms as retribution for them taking Polly away from her. Archiekins here finally has a purpose in the entire series thus far when he acts as the trojan horse in the Blossom household, feeding information back to the Coopers. Turns out that Polly is actully there to go undercover trying to solve Dead Jason’s murder herself. She’s pregnant with twins though so I’m assuming some hijnks ™ will take place when she is in her eighth month. Alice’s loser dope husband refuses to run the expose in their jointly owned newspaper and fires her. In a small consolation, she is later offered a spot at the Riverdale High school newspaper (lol) run by Jughead and Betty.
RONNIE’S REMORSE | In the seven episodes in between my last review and this one, I have to admit Veronica’s (Camila Mendes) character has been boring and has had no real development other than a reformed mean girl wanting to start over. This concept finally reaches a head when Veronica realizes what her privileged lifestyle really cost when classmate Ethel (played by Barb from Stranger Things) reads a super depressing poem in class. Ronnie, wanting to help, befriends her and invites her to a family dinner. At this dinner, we find out that Ethel’s parents have been fighting about money and Hermione (Veronica’s mother played by Marisol Nichols) pieces it out that Ethel’s father invested with Hiram (Veronica’s father currently in jail for embezzlement) and that’s why Ethel’s family is about to lose their home. Later when Ethel’s dad attempts suicide, Ronnie is devastated by the impact of the life she lived and shreds her pearls in tears with a cringey slow motion scene. Seeing the ramifications of her dad’s actions, Ronnie decides she will not lie when she has to testify and will fully testify against her father.
LOVE DOES COST A THING a.k.a. POOR HERMIONE | Hermione is also forced to come clean to Fred Andrews about her involvement in the SoDale construction and that her crooked husband is behind the development that Fred’s struggling construction company is depending on. Fred leverages this information and ends their relationship and negotiates a 20% stake in future of the development.
BUGHEAD 4 EVER | Throughout the course of the series, the Betty and Jughead relationship has moved to the front of the series. It doesn’t hurt that their actors Lili Reinhart and Cole Sprouse are dating IRL. It’s actually kind of hilarious and sad that their chemistry has eclipsed that of Betty and Archie making the showrunners change the course of the show and the iconic Betty-Archie-Veronica love triangle. The show will instead focus on a Jughead-Betty-Archie “friendship triangle”. In less than ten episodes, Cole Sprouse has inadvertently made himself the defacto male lead and relegated Archie to the B plot. Poor dat.
CHERYL | Cheryl does not take her rejection kindly and the episode ends with her crossing out Polly and Archie’s faces in red marker on a photograph from the event at the start of the episode. Everyone in this show is nuts.
WHO KILLED DEAD JASON | The season running mystery deepens when Archie (who has genuinely never ever been this useful in the entire series) overhears the Blossoms talking about how they were the ones that sold out Hiram Lodge and sent him to jail but despite that, they should have sent Hermione too as she is turning out to be more resourceful than they had realized. Archie relays this information to Bughead who then add Hiram Lodge to the murder board… if the Blossoms got Hiram arrested, could he have retaliated by killing their most prized possession, their son Dead Jason Blossom?
NEXT: TEENS HAVING A PARTY EP!
It’s the rite of passage for every teen drama: the house party where shit goes down™
Let’s first laugh at this very badly executed stage punch
one more time
AND now the trailer with the episode description:
Riverdale 1×10 “The Lost Weekend” – When Fred (Luke Perry) decides to finalize the divorce with Archie’s mother Mary (guest star Molly Ringwald), Archie (KJ Apa) hides his true feelings. Archie tries to win Valerie (guest star Hayley Law) back with a romantic evening, however, Betty (Lili Reinhart) hijacks his plans when she decides to throw Jughead (Cole Sprouse) a surprise birthday party. Once Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) learns of the party, she decides to make it interesting and things quickly get out of control. Meanwhile, Veronica (Camila Mendes) contemplates whether she should participate in the deposition to help get her Dad released. Madchen Amick and Marishol Nichols also star. Dawn Wilkinson directed the episode written by Britta Lundin & Brian E. Paterson (#110). Original airdate 4/13/2017.
Following last week’s episode of Daddy Dean Cain stealing a registry of the aliens in National City. This week’s episode not so subtly tackling the treatment of immigrants (aliens) which is not to far off with what is happening in America right now. There is even a scene where the immigrant aliens are shown being gassed.
For it’s many flaws (Mon-El), one compelling thing about Supergirl is its running thread of inclusion and feeling like an outsider trying to find your place to fit in the world. Each character has their own arc this season of being an outsider. The opening scene of an innocent alien family being rounded up like cattle to eventually being killed is the parallel that to me, the audience of Supergirl – teenagers and tweens – can find powerful in understanding the times we are in.
Onto the recap!
ALEX GETS BENCHED | Still reeling from the betrayal of her father, Alex gets suspended after failing J’onn’s shape-shifting loyalty test and goes off on a suspect that abducted Winn’s Darla-esque girlfriend. Maggie and Alex team up in going rogue to locate Cadmus.
KARA DANVERS, ACE REPORTER | In another parallel, the integrity of journalism and the advent of fake news is tonight’s B plot. Kara wants to write an article warning all the aliens that they’re being rounded up for slaughter. Snapper refuses to run the story without authenticating its sources with all the fake news out there. Kara offers up an exclusive with Supergirl but then in the actual interview refuses to detail how she knows the National Alien Registry was stolen. Snapper doesn’t think this counts as a credible source and shelves the article.
In comes Lena Luthor who advises Kara to be a citizen journalist instead and get the word out directly as opposed to trying to get it published in the paper. To be honest here, a realistic journalist in 2017 should at least have a Twitter feed and I’m surprised the show needed Lena to tell Kara that.
Kara launches Danvers.com with her alien expose, but it comes at a cost – she’s fired from Catco.
YOUR MAMA SO CRAZY | Lillian Luthor is straight up batshit and directs Lena’s assistant to shut her up when Lena detects traces in the LCorp Accounting books that leads to the location of Cadmus. Lillian is a little Trumpy tho and wants to straight up kill all of the aliens. Dean Cain negotiates to have them forcibly deported instead, lest to give them a semblance of a chance of life. Lillian’s minions end up getting Lena thrown off a roof and in one of the most pandering fan service shots I’ve ever seen, Lena is saved by Supergirl from falling off the building lol. #SuperCorp
DADDY DEAN CAIN | Turns out Lillian Luthor has been blackmailing Dean Cain into doing her bidding by trying to kill Kara and Alex over the years. Alex goes full bad ass, blowing ish up to call Lillian’s bluff to save the alien immigrants. Dean Cain and Cyborg-Superman fight and it breaks my 1998 heart to see Dean Cain getting totally beat. The deportation vessel is still launched though and Supergirl has to stop it from reaching into outer space because once it reaches that barrier, it goes into light speed. In a very touching scene of what Supergirl does best, sisterhood, Kara’s love for Alex gives her the strength to save her and stop the vessel.
TAKETHE-EL | One of the reason’s I stopped writing about Supergirl was the annoying inclusion of Mon-El. The entire arc of this white dude being force-fed for more than eight episodes and having the sitting plot of their father being trapped and tortured totally dropped, while Alex and Kara focused on getting laid and their love lives just rang so false to me. Teri Hatcher coming on the show is what got me feeling really inspired to write about the show again.
TERI HATCHER BISH!! | The episode ends with Mon-El’s parents arriving on Earth – Kevin Hercules Sorbo and Teri Hatcher. So not only is Mon-El a loser, he’s a lying loser too. Mon-El can miss me with that star-crossed shit. Though I haven’t been writing about all the episodes, I’ve been watching them and Mon-El is thoroughly useless, a liar and should be killed in the season finale I’m not even going to front.
I enjoyed the themes of journalism and the parallels to the immigration ban in this episode. For what it’s worth, of all the DCTV shows – Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow are two that consistently tackle harder issues. I think Arrow did an episode about gun control recently and I appreciate DCTV doing that. It’s influential to a lot of ears and eyes, young ears and eyes especially, and I think it’s good that they’re using their platform for something worthwhile.
*Did Kara and Alex not give a shit about what happened to Daddy Dean Cain? Why didn’t they go back for him?
*Alex was da real MVP this episode – she had a decent amount of fight scenes this week.
*Minimal Mon-El fuckery always makes for a good episode.
*”You’re the only Superman we need”. Nothing like a subtle reference, ha.
*Danvers.com is a nice touch. With Cat Grant being gone and Winn being at the DEO, the Catco set was being used less and less. Realistically speaking though, Snapper was right to fire her for all the reasons he listed. It will be interesting to see Kara Danvers launch her own media empire. Me thinks she at least deserves some form of note from Cat Grant on this venture on an upcoming episode.
*I like when Supergirl does commentary about real life
*Did James have even a minute of screen time this episode? He’s supposed to be the male lead non? If Kara wanted the story run, James is a higher position than Snapper Carr, he could have overriden his decision?
NEXT: this is also the first of the 2 part crossover musical with The Flash!
Supergirl 2×16 “Star-Crossed” Season 2 Episode 16 Promo – TERI HATCHER (“DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES,” “LOIS & CLARK: THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN”) AND KEVIN SORBO (“HERCULES”) GUEST STAR; DARREN CRISS (“GLEE”) MAKES HIS DEBUT AS THE MUSIC MEISTER – A new villain (guest star Teri Hatcher) comes to National City, putting Supergirl (Melissa Benoist) on high alert. Meanwhile, Winn’s (Jeremy Jordan) girlfriend, Lyra (guest star Tamzin Merchant), gets Winn in trouble with the law. Maggie (guest star Floriana Lima) attempts to help Winn but old loyalties get in the way. The Music Meister (Darren Criss) attacks Supergirl. John Medlen directed the episode written by Katie Rose Rogers & Jess Kardos (#216). Original airdate 3/20/2017.
LoT was initially meant to be a roundup post because I don’t always have time to write about everything but… I have to talk about this week’s ep!
PREVIOUSLY | Season 1 was a mess. The main villain Vandal Savage sucked. Hawkman and Hawkgirl sucked. Rip Hunter sucked. They were cut from Season 2 and Commander Steel (a historian, with powers to have his entire body turn into steel) and Vixen (a member of the Justice Society of America, who came aboard the Waverider to avenger her lover’s death at the hands of Reverse Flash). Reverse Flash, Damien Darkh and Malcolm Merlyn are all characters that were honed on The Flash and Arrow so the audience is familiar with each of them.
FUN | 10000% Malcolm and Darkh are MILES better on LoT than Arrow. The lighter tone of LoT suits these characters much better than their source shows where all three made for extremely boring villains. I’d be here for a Legion of Doom spinoff or web-series, they have the good comedic chemistry with each other.
RIP HUNTER, I MEAN, PHIL | Brainwashed Rip has no idea about his former life as a Timemaster and all torture methods come up empty, as his memories have been wiped clean. Damian however, goes all Huck-from-Scandal style and legit cuts out his teeth from his gums, one of which has a secret location of a safety deposit box inscribed on it. The trio chart a course for 2025, to retrieve the security deposit box and presumably the location of the Spear of Destiny. This turns up empty when pudding brained Rip Hunter Phil doesn’t know the passcode to enter the vault.
EOBARD | The episode centers around how and why Eobard recruited Damian and Malcolm in his quest to find the Spear of Destiny. Reverse Flash is way more compelling on LoT than he ever was on The Flash. Eobard has a habit of referring to his teammates as henchmen and disappearing for long periods of time, which finally causes Malcolm and Damian to question his motivations. Why does a speedster need help from two former members of the League of Assassins? Damian clearly wants to rewrite reality by avoiding his death in 2016 and Malcolm wants to rewrite his past, to presumably have a better relationship with his daughter, Thea. But what does Eobard want? Eventually, with a needed assist from “the hippie” Phil (aka brainwashed Rip Hunter), the two decide to make a united stand against Eobard to get the equality they deserve.
This comes in the form of trapping him in a bank vault while trying to recover the security box that pudding brained
Rip Hunter Phil couldn’t retrieve earlier. Eobard is shitting bricks because someone is coming for him and he’s getting closer. I love the reveal of Eobard’s motivations because there is finally continuity (somewhat) in DCTV. Recall from the season 1 finale of The Flash, Eddie Thawne committed suicide, thereby effectively erasing Eobard from existence because he was from the future. Yet, in 3×02 in The Flash after being extracted from Flashpoint, Eddie was still dead and Eobard was not fading from existence. It turns out that the time wraith chasing Eobard to kill him is Black Flash aka Zaddy. (Hunter Zolomon, who died at the end of Season 2 on The Flash and was turned into Black Flash by the time wraiths). The new iteration of Hunter Zolomon is very gruesome.
Eobard is a time aberration because this version of him exists because it was plucked from the Speedforce and he needs the Spear of Destiny to rewrite his reality.
TEAMWORK | Damian and Malcolm pledge to help save Eobard from Dark Flash if he agrees there is to be an equal partnership going forward. At this point, I wonder why Eobard didn’t phase through the bank vault. Surely, he can? Damian and Malcolm suggest that if Black Flash is tracking Eobard because it’s attracted to the Speedforce when Eobard keeps running away, that he simply just… doesn’t use it. Eobard is kind of an idiot if simpletons like Malcolm and Darkh figured out that simply standing still is what would deflect Black Flash. Their assumption about standing still is correct and the three work together to temporarily trap the Dark Flash in the bank vault.
MEANWHILE ON THE WAVE RIDER | The team try to unlock the data on the amulet that the Legion of Doom is trying to get from them. Martin suggests going back to meet a “colleague” in Central City but leaves out the part where it’s his time aberration of a daughter. Lily does in fact unlock the data on the amulet and uploads it to the ship while Ray is thoroughly smitten. It’s of course block headed Mick who drops the bombshell on Lily that she isn’t even supposed to exist. The scene where Lily confronts her father on her being a time aberration, the very mistakes they are tasked with undoing, is well done by both actors. A heart to heart with Jax, eventually leads Martin to confess that he initially did not want kids because he was scared he would have been a bad father, as his own father was.
Martin also finally figures out that the Speedster they’ve been chasing is Eobard Thawne, as he was there the day Eddie shot himself to protect Eobard from killing them all. They also deduce that he is trying to prevent himself from being erased from existence due to Eddie’s death.
RIP HUNTER, PHIL, RE-PROGRAMMED | The episode ends with the LoD unlocking the contents of the security box – it’s Rip Hunter’s memories, which they decide to re-program a bit. The episode ends with Rip, clearly mind altered, in 1776 shooting George Washington in the head.
- The show has def hit its stride with this current cast.
- Love the story-line of Stein and his daughter. A part of me thinks she will join the Legends at some point and they will use the Spear of Destiny (lol @ this name) to prevent Lily’s erasure from time because she is an aberration. Or because time doesn’t move in the temporal zone she will board the ship.
- Snart is supposed to join the Legion of Doom at some point. I’m assuming they will extract him from the past like they did with Darkh.
- Fucking finally at Stein figuring out it was Eobard. I’m surprised no one ever thought to ask Barry during the crossover but LOT is so good this season I’ll excuse it
- Also I am assuming that Ray/Lily will definitely be a plot line in S3 if Lily comes aboard the WaveRider
- This show is so good and will only get bigger following The Flash. Poor Arrow (which has improved this season greatly) will go back to being at the bottom of the four.
I steadfastly hated the pilot episode of this show. Did episode two change my mind? Read on.
PREVIOUSLY | Archie and Betty have the whitest of problems when he kisses Veronica after spending 7 minutes in a closet after Spin the Bottle. Veronica’s mom is broke af and hits up Luke Perry for a job, eventually working at Pop’s Chocklit Shoppe. We already foreshadow years of tumblr fights with the declaration and Archie and Betty are endgame. Incest Twin Jason is dead af and shot in the head, floats up on riverbank.
ARCHIE, THE DRIEST WHITE GUY OF ALL TIME | No offense to KJ Apa (Archie Andrews) but homeboy looks like Chuck Bass meets Dexter.
There are multiple shirtless shots which still can’t distract from this face. Anyway, Archie feels guilty about not reporting the gunshot that he and Grundy heard on the 4th of July. He tries to vent to Betty but she doesn’t want anything to do with him initially (because of his betrayal with Veronica) but later forgives him. Grundy is hesitant to report the gunshot because she doesn’t want them to go to jail or to lose her job for sleeping with a student. Grundy promises Archie she has real feelings for him.It’s Jughead who figures out that Archie is covering for Grundy and encourages him to come forward.
BETTY AND VERONICA 4 EVA | Betty is one of two MVPs of this episode. Her mother, excellently played by Twin Peaks alum Madchen Amick is delightfully ruthless. Betty tries to play the complacent good girl and forgives Archie. (f-f-f-fashion note, I am loving Betty’s sweater in this scene)
Also seeking forgiveness? Veronica, who has dozens of yellow roses (for friendship!) cupcakes, blowouts and a day of mani/pedis to show her good faith for a quote “basic bitch move”. Betty relents until they’re all at lunch listening to Archie try to be Ed Sheeran with his guitar but Archie’s betrayal is too much for Betty and she runs off in tears.
This is further blown up in gym class during cheer leading rehearsal (because of course) when Ronnie bullshittingly says she only went in the closet with Archie to make sure no one else would kiss him (lol k) and then caps it off Regina George style with “It’s not my fault he doesn’t like you!” but immediately regrets it. “It’s just how it is, not everyone we like will like us back”
Betty retaliates against Ronnie by taking Cheryl (and her fake lips) to all the activities Ronnie had planned for them earlier.
CHERYL AND HER FAKE LIPS | Jason’s death is classified as a homicide and his Kylie-Cheryl sister “has her suspicions #RiverdaleStrong“. The coroner (and Betty’s mom for some reason?) examine Jason’s body and then she pays him off for details for her article.
Cheryl shows up to Betty’s house asking about Betty’s sister, Polly, who went insane after her breakup with Fake Cheryl’s twin brother. Betty inquires about her curiosity to which Fake Cheryl epically replies: “Because you dumb cow, someone shot my brother and I think it was your crazy, tweaked out sister“. Betty snaps and tells her to GTFO with some serious crazy eyes.
This moment and the scene in the pilot where Betty has to dig her nails into her hands to the point of bleeding, hint at dear Ms. Cooper having some serious anger management issues and that there is way more than meets the eye. Cheryl’s bitchery leads to Betty and Ronnie reconciling.
Archie is given Dead Incest Twin Jason’s old football jersey number and seeing him wearing it at the game throws Fake Cheryl off the deep end who breaks down and sobs “He was supposed to come back” to Veronica.
JUGHEAD | Jughead is bullied by Reggie about Jason’s death. Archie steps in to defend him and gets in a fight resulting in a black eye.
Archie decides to come forward about what he knows and it leads to his reconciliation with Jughead. They’re cute, flirt and say they’ll discuss things over lots of hamburgers. I ship it!
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS | The episode ends with Ronnie and Betty on a date pledging to never let a boy come between them again. On cue, Archie and Jughead walk in and Betty nods for them to come over. FRIENDS FOREVER guys! Ronnie and Jughead meet for the first time. It slow pans with everyone laughing and having fun while Jughead waxes philosophically in a voice-over.
The coroner’s report comes in just as Archie goes to Principal Weatherbee’s office to confess to hearing the gunshot. But he doesn’t have to, they already have a suspect. Archie follows them to class and the camera lingers on Jughead for a bit before Fake Cheryl stands up. “You’re here for me aren’t you? Because of the autopsy?” Even though they offer to not handcuff her in front of her classmates, Fake Cheryl doesn’t care, “it’s alright, they’ll find out soon enough anyway… that I’m guilty”
Jughead’s voice-over tells us Jason’s autopsy brought a lot of things to light, namely that he hadn’t been killed on July 4th, in fact he died over a week later. So if Jason didn’t die on July 4th, when did he die? and who shot him?
The dialogue is still cringey but Betty, Jughead and Madchen (Betty’s mom) are the standouts of the ep. Markedly better than the first episode. I’ll be tuning in to episode three. I’m on board… for now.
Speculations for further episodes: I don’t think Polly is in a mental institution because of her breakup with Jason, I think Betty hurt her. I also think Fake Cheryl was completely having sex with her twin brother and that they were adopted, he was off to find their real parents and was murdered by their adoptive parents, likely because they’re hiding some deep dark family secret.
Riverdale 1×03 “Body Double” – After new information surrounding Jason’s death comes to light, Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) finds herself under a cloud of suspicion and forced to come clean about the last time she saw her brother. Meanwhile, Archie (KJ Apa) makes a tough decision that puts a major strain on his relationship with Miss Grundy (guest star Sarah Habel). Elsewhere, Betty (Lili Reinhart) decides to revive the school newspaper and asks for Jughead’s (Cole Sprouse) help in investigating Jason’s death, while Veronica (Camila Mendes) and Ethel (guest star Shannon Purser) work on exposing some of Riverdale High’s football players after rumors of a “shame book” begin to circulate. Finally, after getting grounded by his dad Fred (Luke Perry), Archie must figure out a way to make it to the Taste of Riverdale event where Josie (Ashleigh Murray) and the Pussycats will be performing a song he helped write. Lee Toland Kreiger directed the episode written by Yolonda E. Lawrence (#103.) Original airdate 2/9/2017
I was thoroughly bored by this entire pilot.
Betty is secretly in love with Archie Andrews, the football player. As she’s about to make her big move, in walks Veronica Lodge. The cinematography is purposely broody as it’s inspired by Twin Peaks. There is pandering faux lesbianism (so 2003), Betty’s addicted to Adderal, Veronica’s father is a deadbeat… I can’t even remember the rest. It’s reductive and I have a hard time believing either of these girls would like someone as dry and boring as Archie.
Archie writes songs and has a Pacey-like affair with his music teacher.
There’s a Kylie Jenner lookalike who may or may not have had an incestuous relationship with her dead brother whose body was never found.
Jughead and Archie have an unknown beef. Jughead is actually writing a book based on the disappearance of Cheryl’s brother who’s body turns up at the end of the ep while the oblig sassy gay character is going to the obligatory riverside locale to obligatory do some secret closet case action. It turns out he didn’t drown. He was shot and an arrest was made later in the week which is revealed in episode two.
Yawn. It all feels reductive and like a rethread of One Tree Hill, Dawson’s Creek, Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars. I’ll give this two more episodes before I give up. If this isn’t canceled in twelve episodes I’ll be really surprised.
Riverdale 1×02 “A Touch of Evil” – SECRETS UNRAVELED — As new details of Jason’s death begin to emerge, Archie (KJ Apa) pleads with Miss Grundy (guest star Sarah Habel) to come forward with what they heard at Sweetwater River. Betty (Lili Reinhart) makes an effort to mend her friendship with Archie but takes a different stance with Veronica (Camila Mendes), who is trying to make up for her actions. With rumors around her brother’s death running rampant, Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) deals with the pressure in true Queen Bee fashion, while tensions boil over when Jughead (Cole Sprouse) stumbles upon a secret Archie was hoping to keep hidden. Finally, plans for the annual fall pep rally move forward with a performance by Josie (Ashleigh Murray) and the Pussycats and a special appearance by Mayor McCoy (guest star Robin Givens.) Marisol Nichols, Madchen Amick and Luke Perry also star. Lee Toland Krieger directed the episode written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (#102.) Original airdate 2/2/2017